This year has started out great so far, the Lord is revealing himself to me and growing me so much! There is so much racing through my mind, but in a good way. There are a few really hard things going on around me too.
I will share on a funny little thing first.
A few weeks ago I went to a wedding. It was so simple and beautiful. I met this couple while they were in high school and they have a funny little story. They have know each other since there were young and he always knew she was the one, it took her a little time realize it, but she knows now, and now they are husband and wife!
So, I am not on the cutting edge of fashion and would never claim to be "in" but I thought I knew how to dress for a wedding...
Well, apparently not this wedding. The bride is the most delightful, bubbly, super feminine, lady like, sweetest girl! She wears lace and pink and anything girly. So while deciding on a dress to wear I took this into consideration, plus it is now spring, so pastels work, right?? Wrong!!
This is what I wore
We took the older 2 boys and had special date time with them, while having a sitter for the younger 2, so I only have a phone pic to document.
I felt pretty ok as we arrived, then we started walking up to the line to sign the guest book. I noticed a lot of dark colors, but didn't think too much about it. Then we sat down and I looked around and I noticed a very high percentage of the women there were wearing either black or navy.
I turned and mentioned this observation to my husband. He quickly read the insecurity that was starting to build and assured me I looked great. He played my little game though and with every woman that walked in we glanced at each other and smiled, because oh yeah, they were wearing dark colors too. Oh how i wish I had had a coat to cover up, ha!
The wedding was great and it was so nice getting to talk with people I don't normally have the opportunity to. And guess what??? The wedding wasn't focused around my dress choice, shocking I know! Not sure anyone even noticed I didn't fit in, but when I got home I did recheck the invitation to see if I missed something about attire, nothing there, I'm just that out of it, ha!
Now for a little of the hard stuff
A wonderful, lovely woman, that I am blessed to be able to call friend shared a status on her facebook account that made my heart sink.
Her name is Christina and at the age of 26 she was diagnosed with brain cancer. She has since been going through treatments and surgeries to remove and shrink tumors on her brain, with successes. Her faith has only been strengthened by this journey. She was told and has known that this cancer would probably be what ends her life this side of Heaven. She has taken this news with such grace and courage! She feels lucky to have the opportunity to let inhibitions go and live the life that Christ has called her to live. A life where she lives the gospel out and loves in the purest.She is now 31, and during this journey she met a wonderful man that decided to walk this journey and share the ups and downs of this life together and they married, they had a beautiful son together this past November. My heart is heavy for her family, but at the same time you can just see Jesus permeating this whole situation. There is pain in the hearts of the ones surrounding her, but even stronger is a peace that is surpassing all understanding.
This status was from Saturday, the day of my baby's first birthday party. About 20 minutes before I saw this a friend and I were sidetracked from many conversations and somehow got on the topic of those close to us dying. A few years ago I met a woman in a bible study that had lost her son when he was about 20 years old, she shared with me that when it was all happening she hadn't realized, but looking back she can see how God had prepared her for what she was going to go through. Even through our conversation God prepared our hearts for the news we would soon be learning. Through text this friend shared a verse
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD is Rock eternal."
Christina lives several hours away and I don't get to see her nearly often enough! When I would see her though we had great talks, I haven't mentioned yet, but she is the FUNNIEST person!! So through many laughs and much sarcasm these are 2 big takeaways I have learned through our conversations
1) be present where you are, yes we should dream big, but take in and enjoy the now
2) don't let fear (of man) rule your decisions, you only get to live this life once, make it matter
I love you so much Christina!!